Just say NO.



Due to recent extremely boring health episodes I have had to learn the power of saying NO. It has taken an Autoimmune disorder and a ruddy insect bite on my leg turning into something rather hideous (see previous chapter) to make this happen. I mean I could say NO before. I really could. Probably in a few languages if I was really showing off. So check it out guys, Non, na, no,いいえ, nada, no no, ei – pretty impressive right?!…. But now I can say the two letter word without feeling guilt. That is a shift. A MAJOR tectonic plate, Earth shattering kind of shift.

From being a person who had a rocket grenade up their proverbial most of the time to not constantly bloody being or forever doing has taken some serious adjustments. Health first though. Health first. It is my Mission No 1 to get BETTER.

Sure I still do stuff and I will say Yes to things that I REALLY want to do and can manage right now. Making sure rest days are allocated or that it is possible or achievable. But I have NOT been doing a LOT of stuff, work, fun and play related. FOMO ( Fear of Missing Out, Daddy) levels have been higher than the ride at Blackpool Pleasure Beach – which I have been informed is very,very, very high. I have turned down some pretty sexy jobs. One involved a 10 day stint interviewing people in Stoke On Trent, Leeds and Doncaster as to why they voted Brexit and U turned on their decision. I could have done it with a mobility scooter, hard hat and clipboard but my better half said NO. A fair NO if there ever was one. Man I would have rode that Mobility Scooter like a Hells Angel, really big hair, red lips and dougnutted it around town whilst finding great contributor’s….A show in itself surely – Anyone?

Social media is a bit of a dick –  compounding how amazing and bedazzling everyone else is doing over the Summer months, Festivals, Edinburgh, summer fun.. fields.. all the stuff this woman blooooooody loves guyz —– sadly the socials probably hasn’t helped those feels. I know everyone gets a bit of the inferior complex with online platforms with folks projecting what is the best in their world. I have downloaded APP detox to manage my usage at this time so as I am respectful of how I use it instead of absuing as a teet of life. This is a good thing and even when I feel 10000% better maybe this time has enabled me to set in place some good life practices for making the day to day more manageable and controlled.  A recent study stated an average millennial checks their phone 150 times a day. I am a millennial. I wish I was. But, I am addicted my phone and I wear a serious amount jumpsuits and still shop in Topshop. So I am ok?!

The bits of radio, presenting and comedies I have done have kept me ALIVE and positive amongst a spagetti bolognaise of talking about dressings, pharmacies, hospital appointments, pain – yawn blooming yawn.

Saying No. Cancelling plans. Swerving meet ups. Heading home early. Not attending comedy gigs. Not boozing. Not for me. No, thank you. Next time. Thank you for thinking of me. Have fun. Not for me. No wine, no thank you. Watching people feel back dead on the floor to the last comment…. All these things I have had to do to get better. I will be back with wine, maybe, maybe not…..

I know I haven’t been the usual me in terms of getting thank you cards delivered on time or being late for birthdays or having to cancel comedy gigs – but I am going to allow myself not to feel guilty about the small stuff right now. I will get back, I will. But I will be mindful of not over doing it. How do you do that with a toddler when you need to work and pursue dreams I am working out now.. But I think I can get there with consideration, planning balance and maybe the help of a hard hat……..