Chapter Four – The Cliche


The Cliché

If I had a pound for every time a cliché was thrown my way from pregnancy through to having a baby I would be a millionaire dripping in Chanel padded bags and having a blow dry every day. That is a goal, the blow dry bit by the way. It will happen, one day. It will.

Sometimes the cliché comes as a form of advice and sometimes as a form of reassurance and sometimes I am sure just said with the intention of being empathetic. They can be quite often delivered with a smug face. I am not sure why this is so perhaps this is because “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” or an “All hands on deck” approach to parenting is considered “helpful”

But, in short they annoy me. Not much annoys me in this world. Well I say that but as I write I remember all of things that actually do annoy me. The concerto of sniffers on the tube without a tissue, people eating with their mouths open….ffs.. I am meandering here again sorry. Let’s get back to the clichés

So here are a few of my chosen “favourites” that ruffle my maternal feathers to great aplomb.. “Sleep when they sleep”, “Best is Breast”, “ This is a phase, it will pass”, “Embrace every moment”, “They grow up so quickly”, “You forget the pain” –Sorry?! Rewind selector on that one. You forget the pain? Do you? Reaaaaaaaaallllly. Bollocking Bollocks all round to that one. You don’t. Well I haven’t and will not for some, some time.

OK! I am only going to break one of these down so as to save you pages of ranting chatter.

“Sleep when they sleep”…. Right, OK. Yeah, I like the idea and it certainly is a smart notion and I am sure it works for some. But, how about if I need to have a wash and actually change my pyjamas and 2 day old pants? Or maybe I would like or need to achieve one thing – like put a wash on, eat a piece of a toast or god forbid load the dishwasher whose contents have been sat on the side since the night before smelling of curry or gougons?  It happens people, it really does. Some babies actually don’t sleep so how does that cliché work then?

There have been times when the cliché has actually sorted me out amongst the fogginess of initial parenting initiations and for those sage words from my trusted few, I thank you. But to suggest that anyone would not enjoy every moment does strike me as riduncolous.

I am not going to make no bones about it but parenting is all in a days work, Actions do indeed speak louder than words when it comes to the people around you and all’s well that ends well eventually. Many hands do indeed make light work so call upon your friendly folk to help out.