Truthfully, I am one of those folk who like to be ‘doing’, a do-er. Achieving. Reaching for that next goal, juggling, struggling, working on the ‘dream’, booking those gigs, trying to create the ideal home, the perfect marriage where you do a 15 different sexual positions 3 times a week. Ya get me?
I also like to start a new year with a rocket up my proverbial giving it all I can to be the best I can be. Come on 2018 you saucy minx, lets do this. Then blow me you get the flu, you stay in bed for 5 days, you are gross and ill and not capable, you even go off your food ( this is bi-decade occurance) then it takes a week after to feel normal. All fun cancelled. I have never had the flu like I did at the beginning of this year. Some minor wins of watching the full Season One of The End of F***ing world on Netflix and sucking on honey on toast. Amazing. Anyway, bloody inconvenient the flu coming at the beginning of a new year. How dare it?!
Anyway, I will pack my violin away… and say that after a very busy working December, I have used January thus far to sort my life out, get a filing cabinet in an orderly fashion, pay my TAX, be ill and take stock of plans, book gigs, line up some leads with work and upcoming adventures. Take time to enjoy my daughter, like proper hang out time. Like really enjoying her company and being part of her life kind of time. Turning bath time into Professor Bubble Works kinda shiz, making play doh cakes and trying to stop her eating it for real fam…. But it has also made me realise it is ok to just be. Be in the moment. Yes it is great to prospect. Yes it is great to look forward and up. But it is also ok and actually really important to spend a weekend in your pyjamas and do nothing occasionally. Do shower though, thats important too. Loving the ones you are with and being present in the here and now.
At Christmas we had one of these moments true and proper. I threw my OCD to the wind, bought a massive load of brown paper, stripped a baby down to her nappy and vest and bought a tonne of poster pants and let her do her worst. The result, some brilliant wrapping paper, a trashed kitchen like a dirty protest in a prison I imagine but one happy little person. FREEEDOM. BraveHeart scenes to be imagined. “Now get straight in that shower. Don’t touch anything”.
Yesterday we discovered a new local East London gem Valentines Park and just bumbled around, collected sticks and one random sweetcorn that had been eaten (rank) – why do the wee folk source the rankest things? ” Yes, put it down please darling. like NOWWWW”. The babby went on the same slide 56 times, but bloody loved it. We were in the moment. It wasn’t earth shattering, ground breaking, body quaking, but it was us, outdoors, doing something fun and most importantly just enjoying each other in that moment.
So hooray to chasing ones dreams and goals and striving and working hard and being the best you can. That really is excellent. But the lesson for me is to balance and be in the right here, right now, more and more. Amen.